Actually, Fahima makes me talk like that, I have to think so fast when I argue with her haha. *shakes fist*
10:08 p.m. // this is my reality \\
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12:37 a.m. // this is my reality \\
3:37 p.m. // this is my reality \\
11:33 a.m. // this is my reality \\
2:45 p.m. // this is my reality \\
9:05 p.m. // this is my reality \\
There are a couple reasons that I love fanfiction, and I am reminded of these facts when I read a particularity breathtaking piece (when I should have been studying for exams, unfortunately). The first is the authors, and the second is the emotional response.
I want to talk authors first, because that leads into the second. I love fanfiction, at a very basic level, because of plot and style of writing. It doesn't matter if it's a fandom I've never read, because if the writing is good, it's good. It's just like reading books. It doesn't matter that I don't like historical fiction, if the writing is good, it's good. There are some authors who just do it for me - they are just so brilliant in constructing plots, in placing subtext, in conveying a message, that I can't help but be infactuated. And I think that this sort of brilliance is easier to find in fandom than in literature, for me, because, one, the internet makes everything so much closer. And because, two, within a fandom, there are always certain authors who everybody can point out and say - yes, they are brilliant, because everybody thinks so, and so they must be doing something right. There are certain authors that I trust, and that I admire, and that I just *know*, will astound me with their writing. Part of it is knowing they have a certain skill with language - in creating a scene, an idea, a visual, which is impossibly vivid and compelling. But no matter how complex the plot, no matter how intricate the storyline, if I don't care for the characters, then I doesn't get to me. I don't *feel* anything on an emotional level.
There are certain fanfic authors, who, when I read their writing, give me an emotional response that I am certain I have never felt with novels. Perhaps it is the length. Fanfic tends to be shorter than novels, they're read within an hour or two, and so it condenses emotions into a shorter reading frame. But it's not just that. When you read an original novel, you're reading about characters you've never met, and the author has to make you care about them. With fanfiction, these people are generally people you already care about, people you already understand, and people that you have an emotional attachment to - the author needs only build on that emotional attachment to create an emotional response. That's why it's so much easier for me to have an emotional response to fanfiction, because I already care, because I've shed tears for these characters before, just give me another situation which breaks my heart again. The emotional response is driven by my feelings for the characters, and so even if the writing is not perfect, if their characterization is good, I'll read it.
Combine the skill of the author, and emotional attachment to the subject, and you get my favourite response to dramatic fanfiction. It's when I'm left gasping for air, when I'm so immersed in the storyline, so desperate to find out what happens next, that I literally hold my breath while reading. And it's not until I finish, or until I forcibly extract myself from the story, that I find that I'm breathing hard, that I'm strung tight as a wire and I feel as though I've been run over by a truck, or some other metaphor for being overwhelmed. I step back from the story, whispering expletives, because it was just that good - I was just that moved by the story. It's like shock; you can't get out of your head what just happened, nothing that you could ever have expected; but it's the good kind of shock, because it's everything you didn't know you needed. Some writers are so good at writing suspense, writing drama, at writing something which makes my threshold of caring explode, that it's better than any adrenaline rush. That's why I read. That's why I read anything, fanfiction, novels, short stories. Because I'm looking for some response, some connection, some feeling that excites me. And I found that tonight. But now I have to go back to the real world, in which I've yet to find the same exhilaration in but a few shining moments. But I think I know why thrill-seekers risk their lives - because feeling something, really feeling, is the best kind of high you can ever experience.
8:46 p.m. // this is my reality \\
4:56 p.m. // this is my reality \\
7:32 a.m. // this is my reality \\
I do believe I'll be going with the former option, as hey, this isn't the first time I've neglected personal hygiene in the face of academic success. *facepalm* Methinks sometimes I've got my priorities a little skewed.
4:48 p.m. // this is my reality \\
11:23 a.m. // this is my reality \\
As soon as exams end, the new Illusoire layout will be up, in addition to new things.
[ETA:5.25] Okay, so I lied a little. New Illusoire layout is up and running, new things including those four wallpapers, and a new blend.
9:43 a.m. // this is my reality \\
Also, hating exams. *cry*
[ETA:7.51] I want this threadless shirt/hoodie.
5:34 p.m. // this is my reality \\
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4:32 p.m. // this is my reality \\
6:30 p.m. // this is my reality \\
I want to go to France on a study exchange.
11:04 a.m. // this is my reality \\
I want your heart to bleed, that's all I'm asking for .. where is your heart . kelly clarkson
8:32 p.m. // this is my reality \\
You plan ahead, and are interested in beauty, design, outward appearance, and symmetry.
You are a social person who likes to talk and meet others.
You are negative, fearful, resistant, doubtful, and/or selfish.
You are a talkative person, maybe even a busybody!
You enjoy life in your own way and do not depend on the opinions of others.
What does your handwriting say about YOU?
11:41 p.m. // this is my reality \\
[ETA:11.46] The problem with being an inveterate slasher - it's never really just brotherly love, even when it is. I concure.
11:09 p.m. // this is my reality \\
Chem lab
Millenium Scholarship application (Jan. 20)
11:38 a.m. // this is my reality \\
[ETA:10.26] Ugh what a terrible Biology note! And it's written on the back of a good note, so I can't even rewrite it :(
10:16 a.m. // this is my reality \\
In other news, Happy New Year's.
11:58 p.m. // this is my reality \\