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31.10.05

So, I am of the opinion that life generally sucks (balls - sick balls - stand by me - word association). But at least I've got people who love me, and that makes it just enough to stand all of the sucking. So if I haven't said it recently (because I've been too busy chewing your head off in my own frustration), thank you. For being there.

On another note: there are these little black flies flying around our house. We don't know where they're coming from, but they remind me rather disturbingly of the products of little white maggots. I'm afraid one day I'll be looking for something in my room and I'll find a thousand tiny white maggots feasting on some long since forgotten scrap of food that I shouldn't have been eating in my room anyway. In the past two weeks I have killed five of these little black flies. One of them landed right on my hand while I was studying (Calc? Physics?) and I had to squish it. It was rather disgusting. Thought I'd share.

8:02 p.m. // this is my reality \\

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30.10.05

So I went to the washroom when I came home from doing Physics at Yvonne's house, with the purpose of throwing my socks in the hamper. Of course, I also had the secondary purpose of well, going to the washroom. Apparently these two actions got mixed up in my head, and so when I threw my socks, they landed in the toilet.

toilet: 2
my personal belongings: 0

9:27 p.m. // this is my reality \\

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Why is it that i come down with bouts of depression entirely unrelated to the state of affairs that is school stress - right before a test comes up upon us? What is existentialism? Why are Canadian winters so cold? Why am I such a piss-poor driver? How am I ever going to survive the rest of my life? Why do people ask questions that they quite simply are not looking to be answered?

3:57 p.m. // this is my reality \\

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27.10.05

NaNoWriMo's coming up again. I think it's amazing the dedication it would take to complete NaNo (in addition to, of course, talent). I couldn't do it. Nor would I ever have the time -_-;;

[ETA:7.14] Although, if my Data project were a novel, I would be 5.486% done for NaNo. x_x

6:36 p.m. // this is my reality \\

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26.10.05

You know, it's funny how Halloween is less than a week away, and I've never felt less aware of the event. It's just - not important, really. (Except of course, for the prospect of cheap candy the days surrounding the 31st)

On another absolutely random note, this is an inventory of my Hotmail folders:

Inbox: 51 messages
Sent Messages: 191 "
9or: 17 "
Heart And Stroke 2004: 135 "
Hugs And Hot Chocolate: 77 "
LEAD: 69 "
OBA: 49 "
Other: 20 "
Personal: 36 "
YB: 40 "

I've got 19.6MB of emails in my account. Just thought it'd be interesting. Are you an email deleter or an email keeper?

8:31 p.m. // this is my reality \\

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25.10.05

Time for some rainy day fic.

[ETA:5.00] "Well, we can't all be natural geniuses like Sirius Black and James Potter. Some of us must work at it."

[ETA:5.10] Sometimes he studies just for the sake of being with the books: as if pressing his fingers to the page, some persuasive evasive power of edited words might osmose through the whorls of his fingerprints.

[ETA:5.16] "I think, I think this friend of yours -- I think he may be an enormous kind of poofter. Have you considered that?

[ETA:5.23] "sometimes rocks have urges, too."

[ETA:5.25] "I am never, I am never, doing that again. Oh, disgusting maggoty hell!"

[ETA:5.27] Remus turns to the door. He pauses. He makes a grab for the soap. He pauses. Door or soap? His mind aches.

"I need someone to tell me what to do," he whispers. "Hell!"

[ETA:5.29] It is Kingsley Shacklebolt. Or else, Sirius reconsiders, it might be an enormous oak tree with moving arms and legs and a big shiny head full of brains.

4:54 p.m. // this is my reality \\

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24.10.05

You know, open source is awesome.

4:34 p.m. // this is my reality \\

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21.10.05

Oktoberfest today!

6:57 a.m. // this is my reality \\

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20.10.05

This weekend will be my ultimate relaxing catch-up weekend. Time to do all my reading for English, and then some, time to get some of those way back-log'd layouts done :S Time for some more scholarship prep, for Yearbook planning, maybe catch up on CSI - I'm planning on not having much homework from classes tomorrow, since it's all math based, and at worst I have to do questions. So yes, this weekend should be a relaxing one. But right now I have to finish my TD Scholarship application :)

5:28 p.m. // this is my reality \\

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16.10.05

Going downtown today for Mok's birthday :)

11:04 a.m. // this is my reality \\

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15.10.05

So, I just finished my shower, and I went to grab the towel on the counter - which, of course, was sitting beside my glasses. Lo and behold, as the towel came off the counter, so did my glasses, and they fell towards the ground. I lunged for them - with my foot - and my little kick kept the glasses off the floor. Brilliant right? Except that my kick, also sent my glasses right into the toilet. Brilliant, indeed.

10:42 a.m. // this is my reality \\

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14.10.05

You know, I was feeling good this afternoon, after I didn't bomb my Calc test, but now I just feel really sorry for myself. You know you've been doing too much homework when you have to ask your mom to write your Calc homework because your wrist hurts too much to do it yourself, after doing all the Biology, Physics and Chemistry homework you had accumulated over the last two days.

10:20 p.m. // this is my reality \\

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13.10.05

i-am-slowly-going-crazy-1-2-3-4-5-6-switch
crazy-going-slowly-am-i-6-5-4-3-2-1-switch

9:09 p.m. // this is my reality \\

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12.10.05

In some ways, I'm really excited about this week, but in others, I cannot wait for it to end. Calculus is killing me. I'm going to bomb the first test - and I mean it. I'm tempted to walk into the Physics test tomorrow having not studied and trusting that I've absorbed all the knowledge I need. Same with Data. I really hate studying for math-based subjects. I'm a terrible public speaker. I've been so scatterbrained.

7:38 p.m. // this is my reality \\

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11.10.05

Note to self: Self, put on moisturizer before you attack your face with whitening powder to avoid looking like a dried up old prune - whitened.

6:55 a.m. // this is my reality \\

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10.10.05

I don't understand why I bother sometimes.

10:57 p.m. // this is my reality \\

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9.10.05

You stand in the line just to hit a new low
You're faking a smile with the coffee to go
You tell me your life's been way off line
You're falling to pieces everytime

12:00 p.m. // this is my reality \\

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7.10.05

Don't you love how a majority of the books which have been at one point in history banned, are now on our English curriculum? lol.

Scary Stories (Series) by Alvin Schwartz
Daddy’s Roommate by Michael Willhoite
I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou
The Chocolate War by Robert Cormier
The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain
Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck
Harry Potter (Series) by J.K. Rowling
Forever by Judy Blume
Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson
Alice (Series) by Phyllis Reynolds Naylor
Heather Has Two Mommies by Leslea Newman
My Brother Sam is Dead by James Lincoln Collier and Christopher Collier
The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger
The Giver by Lois Lowry
It’s Perfectly Normal by Robie Harris
Goosebumps (Series) by R.L. Stine
A Day No Pigs Would Die by Robert Newton Peck
The Color Purple by Alice Walker
Sex by Madonna
Earth’s Children (Series) by Jean M. Auel
The Great Gilly Hopkins by Katherine Paterson
A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L’Engle
Go Ask Alice by Anonymous
Fallen Angels by Walter Dean Myers
In the Night Kitchen by Maurice Sendak
The Stupids (Series) by Harry Allard
The Witches by Roald Dahl
The New Joy of Gay Sex by Charles Silverstein
Anastasia Krupnik (Series) by Lois Lowry
The Goats by Brock Cole
Kaffir Boy by Mark Mathabane
Blubber by Judy Blume
Killing Mr. Griffin by Lois Duncan
Halloween ABC by Eve Merriam
We All Fall Down by Robert Cormier
Final Exit by Derek Humphry
The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood
Julie of the Wolves by Jean Craighead George
The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison
What’s Happening to my Body? Book for Girls: A Growing-Up Guide for Parents & Daughters by Lynda Madaras
To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
Beloved by Toni Morrison
The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton
The Pigman by Paul Zindel
Bumps in the Night by Harry Allard
Deenie by Judy Blume
Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes
Annie on my Mind by Nancy Garden
The Boy Who Lost His Face by Louis Sachar
Cross Your Fingers, Spit in Your Hat by Alvin Schwartz
A Light in the Attic by Shel Silverstein
Brave New World by Aldous Huxley
Sleeping Beauty Trilogy by A.N. Roquelaure (Anne Rice)
Asking About Sex and Growing Up by Joanna Cole
Cujo by Stephen King
James and the Giant Peach by Roald Dahl
The Anarchist Cookbook by William Powell
Boys and Sex by Wardell Pomeroy
Ordinary People by Judith Guest
American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis
What’s Happening to my Body? Book for Boys: A Growing-Up Guide for Parents & Sons by Lynda Madaras
Are You There, God? It’s Me, Margaret by Judy Blume
Crazy Lady by Jane Conly
Athletic Shorts by Chris Crutcher
Fade by Robert Cormier
Guess What? by Mem Fox
The House of Spirits by Isabel Allende
The Face on the Milk Carton by Caroline Cooney
Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut
Lord of the Flies by William Golding
Native Son by Richard Wright
Women on Top: How Real Life Has Changed Women’s Fantasies by Nancy Friday
Curses, Hexes and Spells by Daniel Cohen
Jack by A.M. Homes
Bless Me, Ultima by Rudolfo A. Anaya
Where Did I Come From? by Peter Mayle
Carrie by Stephen King
Tiger Eyes by Judy Blume
On My Honor by Marion Dane Bauer
Arizona Kid by Ron Koertge
Family Secrets by Norma Klein
Mommy Laid An Egg by Babette Cole
The Dead Zone by Stephen King
The Adventures of Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain
Song of Solomon by Toni Morrison
Always Running by Luis Rodriguez
Private Parts by Howard Stern
Where’s Waldo? by Martin Hanford
Summer of My German Soldier by Bette Greene
Little Black Sambo by Helen Bannerman
Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett
Running Loose by Chris Crutcher
Sex Education by Jenny Davis
The Drowning of Stephen Jones by Bette Greene
Girls and Sex by Wardell Pomeroy
How to Eat Fried Worms by Thomas Rockwell
View from the Cherry Tree by Willo Davis Roberts
The Headless Cupid by Zilpha Keatley Snyder
The Terrorist by Caroline Cooney
Jump Ship to Freedom by James Lincoln Collier and Christopher Collier

Wow why am I terrible and un-wellread? lol. This is why I can't pick an ISP book.

7:27 p.m. // this is my reality \\

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I cannot forgive my friends for dying; I do not find these vanishing acts of theirs at all amusing. .. Logan Pearsall Smith

3:38 p.m. // this is my reality \\

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I have died. I could not lift another Yearbook box if you paid me a lot of money. I think I broke/bruised a blood vessel in my palm.

6:31 a.m. // this is my reality \\

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6.10.05

Wow, it is so nice to wake up with almost 9 hours of sleep, after you spent the night before tossing and turning and only getting 5. I feel... well, still tired actually -_-;; But better. I don't know why, eating makes me feel tired nowadays. Too much sitting down doing nothing I guess.

6:40 a.m. // this is my reality \\

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5.10.05

Today was ... something. It started out sucking, and stressful, and freakouts and bursting into tears in Biology, but everything turned out right in the end and I got the scholarship in on time in the end, and it doesn't matter that I don't win it, because I did it, and I'm never, ever, doing anything the night before again.

And then this afternoon, I found out in the middle of Calculus (and Mr. Mitchell wouldn't let me go) that the YEARBOOKS HAVE ARRIVED! And they look good - I'm so happy. I was afraid they'd be terrible. But, they're nice :) I'm so excited. Commencement tomorrow, and distribution at lunch, and we'll see how people like them!
[ETA:7.02] Frigg but I need to sleep after I do my Calc. homework, because five hours of sleep is definitely not enough.

6:27 p.m. // this is my reality \\

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4.10.05

I really need to make a list of Things That Need To Be Done (tm), so bare (bear?) with me and/or ignore this post altogether.

Things That Need To Be Done (tm)

3:41 p.m. // this is my reality \\

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3.10.05

Fractional limits are dumb.

[ETA:5.35] 19 questions down, 26 more to go.

[ETA:6.14] I've got a blister right on that spot on my ring finger above the third knuckle, from writing too much CALCULUS. Grr.

5:07 p.m. // this is my reality \\

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Today was a lot of fun - first day of Spirit Week (I almost forgot!) and the ice-cream eating competition. I definitely went and ate ice-cream oh dear lol. My face felt disgusting, and I've still got ice cream in my hair I think, and my tongue went numb, but it was a lot of fun ^_^ School spirit events are definitely cool.

3:49 p.m. // this is my reality \\

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1.10.05

So, volunteered with Key Club for Kiwanis @ Markham Fair last night. It was actually a lot of fun - I haven't been to Markham Fair since I was like 10 lol. University Fair today, and I'm running on 6 1/2 hours of sleep because I had to stay up last night and gather a set of questions I wanted to ask Universities reps. Ah damn. Why is school so expensive?

7:59 a.m. // this is my reality \\

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