9:41 p.m. // this is my reality \\
2. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW? nothing, but I did finish reading 'Kushiel's Avatar' a bit back.
3. WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? Pentium III :P
4. FAVORITE BOARD GAME? uh... monopoly?
5. FAVORITE MAGAZINE? Meh, chick magazines. *grin*
6. FAVORITE SMELL? hmm... apple pie? (family studies room smells so good)
7. LEAST FAVORITE SMELL? ...Vincent... *wince* (a year, a year I tell you!)
8. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING? Arg.
9. FAVORITE COLOUR? blue or purple, or black
10. LEAST FAVORITE COLOUR? hmm... orange?
11. HOW MANY RINGS BEFORE YOU ANSWER THE PHONE? one or two
12. FUTURE CHILD'S NAME? chloe/tylor/alexand/ra/er/josh/taylor
13. WHAT IS MOST IMPORTANT IN LIFE? being happy
14. OF ALL THE POSSIBLE CIRCLES OF HELL, WHICH ARE YOU MOST LIKELY TO BE ASSIGNED TO? hmm... I don't remember them
15. CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA? vanilla ice-cream, chocolate everything else
16. DO YOU LIKE TO DRIVE FAST? I would... 'cept for my inane fear of CRASHING AND DYING
17. DO YOU SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL? yup (my mom says it makes my allergies act up :P)
18. STORMS - COOL OR SCARY? cool
19. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CAR? :P
20. IF YOU COULD MEET ONE PERSON DEAD OR ALIVE WHO WOULD IT BE? ...
21. FAVORITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK? don't have one
22. WHAT IS YOUR SIGN & YOUR BIRTHDAY? Leo - Aug. 2
23. DO YOU EAT THE STEMS OF BROCCOLI? yes
24. IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB WHAT WOULD IT BE? something fulfilling and wealthy
25. IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY HAIR COLOR WHAT WOULD IT BE? Hmm... if I could highlight my hair silver, that would be cool
26. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN LOVE? no
27. IS THE GLASS HALF FULL OR HALF EMPTY? -_-;; I hate this question.
28. FAVORITE MOVIE? arg; so difficult... Girl, Interrupted, Ever After, Infernal Affairs, Spiderman
29. DO YOU TYPE WITH YOUR FINGERS ON THE RIGHT KEYS? mostly
30. WHAT'S UNDER YOUR BED? my old old slippers
31. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER? 2
32. FAVORITE SPORT TO WATCH? hockey (I *am* Canadian you know)
33. WHAT IS YOUR SINGLE BIGGEST FEAR? being alone and unwanted
34. FAVORITE SONG? don't have one
35. FAVORITE TV SHOWS? Smallville, BtVS, Angel
36. KETCHUP OR MUSTARD? ketchup
37. HAMBURGERS OR HOTDOGS? both
38. FAVORITE SOFT DRINK? Coke
39. THE BEST PLACES YOU HAVE EVER BEEN? Eh... Yvonne's house... :P I don't know...
40. WHAT SCREEN SAVER IS ON YOUR COMPUTER RIGHT NOW? a slideshow of all my desktop images
41. BURGER KING OR MCDONALDS? mickey d's
42. DO YOU KNOW SOMEONE RIGHT NOW THAT YOU COULD FALL IN LOVE WITH? ...
43. WHAT DID YOU DO YESTERDAY? school
44. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE FOOD? ice-cream? pocky? chicken soup pasta?
45. WHERE DO YOU SEE YOURSELF IN 20 YEARS? hopefully working sucessfully
46. IF YOU HAD THE CHOICE OF ANY SUPERHERO POWER TO POSSESS, WHAT WOULD IT BE? hmm... invisibility or flying
47. WHAT'S THE WEIRDEST DREAM YOU'VE EVER HAD? Batman. And the batmobile. That's all I remember of it now, but I *know* it was weird.
48. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE CLASSICAL COMPOSER? Eh... no?
8:15 p.m. // this is my reality \\
You're dark yaoi. You like lots of angsty emotional
turmoil and you're probably into NCS fics. In
real life, you might be depressed, or maybe
you're just poetic?
What kind of yaoi are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
8:03 p.m. // this is my reality \\
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Hmm, hey, I think he actually listened to - and believed - me this time! *grin* I feel accomplished.
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6:37 p.m. // this is my reality \\
im hungry
w a i t i n g f o r t h e s u n says:
but the fcking fridge creakz like a bitch
w a i t i n g f o r t h e s u n says:
wat do i do?
~ Shinigami no Mitsukai ~ says:
get food that's *not* from the fridge?
~ Shinigami no Mitsukai ~ says:
you know, people usually keep food in cupboards and shelves as well
w a i t i n g f o r t h e s u n says:
dude...way to make me feel like a retard...
w a i t i n g f o r t h e s u n says:
i have pop tarts...but i already had 3 tonight...n i finally realized....THEY DONT TASTE GOO.d
~ Shinigami no Mitsukai ~ says:
hahah
~ Shinigami no Mitsukai ~ says:
the hell they don't taste good
~ Shinigami no Mitsukai ~ says:
eat'em cold
w a i t i n g f o r t h e s u n says:
screw you.
w a i t i n g f o r t h e s u n says:
u shutup with ur logic.
~ Shinigami no Mitsukai ~ says:
yessir
*grin* Heh, talking to Leslie's always amusing.
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On another note, damn Summative so bad. -_-;; Tis hard. I need to do my organiser.
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i dun give a shit if im 11
DID U KNO! did u kno that australia is inhabited by living rocks?! *gasp* .......well......NOW U KNO! says:
at least im not old like those 12-year olds
DID U KNO! did u kno that australia is inhabited by living rocks?! *gasp* .......well......NOW U KNO! has left the conversation.
~ Shinigami no Mitsukai ~ love as thou wilt ~ says:
...old... 12 year olds...
~ Shinigami no Mitsukai ~ love as thou wilt ~ says:
does he/she assume we're twelve now?
Aaah, that was great. Leslie (who's a year older than me) invited me into this convo with *all* these kids, and I didn't have a clue who there were, but we were talking, and Les kept calling this one girl 'kid', so she's like, I'm not a kid. Except Leslie asks her what her age is, and she's like, 11. *grin* Now to me and Leslie, this is definitely kid material; I say so. And so some other kid engages in the conversation above. *grin* So 12's old now... XD Truly great fun.
5:54 p.m. // this is my reality \\
We won the game! We'd better win tonight's too. And I'm pissed off; because people have been picking up my grammatical/word usage mistakes from Little Things, and I thought I had caught them all. I was wrong. I *never* catch them all. I really want to get it beta-ed or something. Aarrg.
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Hmm... I ignored a lot of stuff yesterday didn't I? :P Well, Saturday we went to go see Phonebooth, which wasn't a bad movie. Collin Farrell goodness, 'cept for the whole ear thing, and eeww. We saw Devin and Nick and two girls @ the theatre, were supposing it was a double date, which is amusing. Saw Eric after too, with a friend I guess. It was a pretty short movie, so we waited outside for Iris's parents to pick her up, and then walked over to the restaurant side of FMP, and had dinner @ a Vienenese (I cannot spell) restaurant, noodles and stuff. I've eaten there before, tis good. So then, we hung out a chapters for a bit before my dad came and picked me up.
Aand yesterday, we went out for dimsum (my family), and then for some reason, went to Too Good pond (and yes it is called that; there's a cafe called that too -_-;;) and strolled Main Street. It's so pretty. Had Starbucks frapp. and tasty fresh yogurt. And then dinner, and the long, long mahjong. :P
So that encompases my Easter. My family doesn't really do the Easter shindig; we're not really religious, and we don't have small kids to lie about the Easter Bunny too. Although I don't think I ever got that lie, and I know my little brother never believed it. Bah. Oh well. I need to write readme's for some layouts.
9:31 a.m. // this is my reality \\
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ALL YOUR MONEYS ARE BELONG TO ME!!
Aah, talking to Lisa's great. ^_^
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I knew a girl once. Not very well mind you; she wasn't around long enough for anyone to get to know her. But I think that I did, know her a little that is. And little things can make the biggest of impacts on life.
She arrived in late fall, quiet and lonely as the trees that were losing their leaves. I didn't pay her much mind, nobody did. She never made any effort to try to make friends; I for one had more important things on my mind. People and parties and sports, and the ever-present classes to pass of course. She was in a couple of mine actually, always sat alone, even when she was surrounded by other students. You could tell she wasn't quite there. But she had a presence, something strong and just a little bit wild. I think that's what kept her from being harassed. I never saw anyone lay a hand on her, or speak cruelly to her face. When she wasn't around it was a different story of course. We are human after all, and we can't help alienating those who are different. That's why all but the wisest and the most apathetic try to fit in. I think she was a little bit of both.
Time passed, as it invariably does, and we all moved with it; even those who weren't noticed, like her. One cold day in November found me wandering on my own in a nearby park that had long since been neglected and forgotten. Nobody else ever ventured through the overgrown shrubs; I rather enjoyed being alone with my memories. Here was where I reminisced, not often, but sometimes, when life was getting particularly hard to bear. It was here, amid dying roses and weeping willows, that I could think of my mother's memory, and lose myself in her ghost. Sometimes I would speak to her, squatting beside the murky green pond, and let go off all my troubles for a time. That day I didn't speak, only paced, hands in my pocket and eyes to the ground. So when I saw strange feet in my view, I couldn't have been more shocked. Here was this girl, who nobody knew, and few liked, sitting in what I had always considered my own private sanctuary. I had half a mind to ask her to leave, when she spoke :
"It's lovely here. Won't you stay a while?"
Nobody, not even me, called this place lovely, not anymore. Even I had a limit to my delusions. It had been a beautiful recluse, once upon a time, but now it stood forlorn, a place that had been forgotten. I couldn't see the loveliness that she claimed, but I stayed anyways, although I couldn't be sure why. Something about her voice; soft, but there was something, like an undercurrent of strength. I looked, really looked at her for the first time as she sat by the pond, eyes staring out. She was pretty, in a sort of cold way; it was undeniable that she was special. We stayed for some time, I watching her and she watching something I couldn't name, or possibly see. When the silence was broken, it was she who spoke again :
"Are you happy?"
I was confused, startled by the question. "I suppose so. Why shouldn't I be?"
"What makes you happy?" she countered, ignoring my question and my gaze.
"There's nothing to make me unhappy. I have a good life, great friends . . . where is this going?" I must admit, I was starting to sound a little impatient, a little rude.
She paused, thinking. "So you're happy because of the things around you."
"Yes."
"You must think I couldn't be very happy then; after all, I have no friends, and my life must seem very dull."
I had no response. It was true, I suppose; if I were in her position, I would not be happy at all. But she turned and smiled at me, before looking away again.
"I've always thought that a person controls their own happiness. No matter what happens around them, they are in control. Their very perception of the world makes up their reality. And so nothing is quite as we see it, because we skew the reality we see."
"But that's not right. Reality is, you can't just change reality by your thoughts."
She smiled a quirky little smile. "You're right."
"What?" I didn't understand at all. "But you-"
"Nobody changes reality. It's their view of reality that changes. Everybody is seeing out of a slightly different lens." She stood up and walked around me; I tried to follow but she shook her head. I stared out at the pond as she stood behind me, a solid warmth against the early winter bite. "Imagine that you're blind." She placed small hands over my eyes and I stood very still. "That you've always been blind. The world you know is darkness. All darkness, and the only things you know are the things you touch, the things you hear. Your reality would be just that, wouldn't it? Darkness masking everything."
I was silent for a time, before I said quietly, "It must be a very bleak reality."
"It's your reality," she whispered against my ear. "You may do with it what you like. It doesn't have to be bleak if you create your own light." She stepped away, her hands dropping from my face, and I could see again. "Create your own happiness. It's alright to live in a skewed reality, if it makes you happy."
That was the only time we ever spoke. She left a couple weeks later, just before the first snow of the season. It's strange, but though I didn't know her much at all, I can't help but wonder where her perspective, her skewed sense of reality has taken her to. And sometimes I think about her, and I want to tell her, that I'm happy for myself now, creating my own light in the darkness.
Wrote that last night; I've always had the idea of 'perception is reality' floating around in my head, watching the ending of NGE brought it out to the forefront. And then, while I was taking a shower, the storyline, or really, just the first couple lines came to me, and I rushed through my shower, came out, and sat at my desk and just wrote. All on my little notebook, four pages filled with my sandscript writing. 1002 words. I'm going to submit it to the writing contest my school's having. I wasn't going to write something new, but this sort of pulsed its way out. God, sometimes it's so nice to be able to write like this. Puttin' it up on CI, as well as a picture from a while back.
My day was pretty good, lots of fun in Geo, Devin's arm is now covered in blue pen. Hopefully, if Mr. Christoff remembers, I'll get the picture soon. Did my vocal solo today too, was terrified; but it was fun. ^_^ I wasn't loud enough.
Something that's been bothering me since last night. I'm terrified, for Steven. Mok. He's at Sick Kids Hospital right now, diagnosed for Lupus he tells me. He kind of joked about it when he told me what that meant, but I'm so scared. It means that his body's attacking his own organs. And I'm so worried. I'm not close to him, but, I couldn't bear if anything happened to him. Jesus. And I can't do anything for him. I hope to dear god that he'll be ok.
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And I'm so weak. Need to wake up now. Gonna go read Kushiel's Avatar, which Jenn lent to me. All homework is done except for English Summative. No proburum. ^_^. . . -_-;;
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Another name for Rurouni Kenshin. Because sometimes it's embarrassing to be an American. Heh.
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The Napoleon (He's Only Come To Take The World)
What Type of Slytherin Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
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which scooby are you?
which stereotype are you?
if she bends, then she breaks, she loves you but then she takes it away, she bends and she bows, she's cold but then she melts like snow
Pretty, pretty girls. Mmmmm... ^_^ And more prettiness. Yum yum! Waahh!! My pretty elf and the boys! And I *loved* this movie. It made me cry; the book and the movie. Oooh, it's my pretty pretty boy again. ^_^
8:27 p.m. // this is my reality \\
http://figuratively-speaking.net/IAC/
http://www.all-surrounded.com/canada/
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turn back on the lights
take me from this darkness
i can't seem to fight
keep me in your presence
give back that which to live
lost from what you were to me
i can't do but grieve
Ok, ew. I didn't like that, but OLP inspired writing; oh it calls. Eh. Bring Back The Sun - Our Lady Peace.
9:43 p.m. // this is my reality \\
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... oops. My bad; I was on 20. XP I need to pay more attention to things...
OMG! Who did he shoot?!
Ahem.. anyways. I need to : get 4 dollars to lisa; coyote ugly soundtrack to iris; work on sci proj; finish geo hw; practice vocal. Much to do, much to do. The math test's been post-poned; again. *sigh* Just washed my hair; tis all soft. And managed not to open up my paper-cut again. Which is good. Nothing much else interesting.
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Lex is too old to be thinking aloud, so instead he holds on a bit tighter and sets his jaw in the Luthor Line of Non-amusedness.
And this is so cool. ^_^ And I like this. OMG. Gorgeous. Maybe I should stop now. ....
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On the other hand, MacHall pics are amusing. I want a MacHall thong. And possibly an SYS one, but Lisa won't give in. :P
On another note, low org games *sucked*. People, listen. Jesuz. *sigh* Also, need to do a solo for Vocal, from a soundtrack of some sort. Lisa has convinced me to do Duvet by Boa, from the anime Lain. *grin* It's a great song.
I hate daylight savings. -_-;; Am tired; today @ gym was running around on sugar, caffeine, adrenaline, and the fact that we had to lead the class. Hyper spazzing. *sigh* Was playing Mahjong last night til 10.30; cause we were still in 9.30 mindset, then I couldn't get to sleep til like, 11.30, and then I woke up @ 3.10 for no damn reason. *sigh* Ah, but Mahjong is cool cause I won with the 13 yew(hip?) thing. *grin* Money for me! Plastic chips worth of money, but that's not the point! :P
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his shoes are too
he lays in bed and the song's not right
he closes his eyes
they've coupled thrice times
four, if you count the shed
but he always wakes to an empty bed
he turns and then he sees him there
sitting on the window seat
and he gets up
and slowly wraps his arms round his shoulders
because the song is right
and when he whispers 'stay with me'
he whispers back, 'alright'
About 9.30 : I was half in dream mode that I saw all this. It was piecy and incomplete, but I saw it. I saw him, haloed by the sun's light. And I saw him dispair, laying alone in bed. The song on the radio never changed, but his perspective does.
And about five minutes later, while I was trying to brush my teeth, it made me write again, even though I didn't want to.
He woke up to the sound of the radio, it wasn't a song he particularily liked, but he didn't turn it off. There were clothes strewn on the floor, new ones, that had been tossed around haphazardly the night before. He knew without looking that he was alone again. He closed his eyes, and didn't want to get up. They had slept together before, three times? Four if you counted the shed, and the memory brought a wry grin. But he had always woken up alone. It wasn't like he expected anything else, but it was nice to have a dream. He rubbed his eyes open and rolled over, content to sleep in. And then he saw him. Sitting on the window seat looking out, halo'ed by the morning sun. Perfect. And suddenly, he didn't want to sleep anymore, and the song on the radio seemed different, but the same, and without a thought or a word, he walked over, knelt on the seat behind him and wrapped his arms around his body, laying his cheek on the back of his head. And when he whispered, 'stay with me', the man in his arms answered, 'alright.'
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*grin* Aah, I love that show. Van's so hot. *grin*
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[edit:] this right here < image maps abound
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*after reading said updates* Aaarg!!!! Souh!!! *sniff* Dammmmit. Grr... go away Ethan!
11:02 a.m. // this is my reality \\
* Trying to dress an active little one is like trying to thread a sewing machine while it's running.
* There are only two things a child will share willingly: communicable diseases and their mother's age.
* Cleaning your house while your kids are at home is like trying to shovel the driveway during a snowstorm.
* Kids really brighten a household; they never turn off any lights.
* An alarm clock is a device for waking people up who don't have small kids.
* Shouting to make your kids obey is like using the horn to steer your car, and you get about the same results!
* Any child can tell you that the sole purpose of a middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.
Heh. That's really cute. Am home from school again, weather's even worse than yesterday. The upstairs north facing windows in my house (mine and my brother's) are coated in a heavy layer of ice. It's like looking through frosted windows. Kind of neat, mostly creepy. More free time today, going to work on new pr.net layout, which sadly, isn't mine til June, but that's ok. Don't want to forget this. Lisa should be coming on soon.
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Picture was pretty much result of much wandering and looking at bishounen @ ponderosa's site.
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Iris 'sex for no money'. *grin*
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Tried desperately to keep that in my head since this morning. Anyways, we have low. org games to do Thursday, *sigh* and today was spent rushing through lunch so that I could go take my Math test, and then finding out it has to be postponed til Thursday. *sigh* On the plus side, all English, Sci, Math hw is done, I just need to work on Geo. Yay. I need to move GT and put up the new layout either today or tomorrow. And Buffy/Smallville/Angel tonight. Yippee! Buffy should be new. And I need to colour that picture down there.
4:59 p.m. // this is my reality \\