31.8.02
I woke up today, at 6.45. I had had a nightmare. Except it wasn't a normal nightmare. God. It was... skin-crawling. I dreamt that I had cuts. Two long cuts along each side of my neck, except that the cuts were made up of a row of circles. One was old and scabby, but the other one was new and pink. God, it was horrible. I can almost remember running my hand along the scabbed one. The circles were about a cm. in diameter. And then, there were two more across my stomach, but each circle was the size of a combo. lock. God. And the things that made the cuts were still on my stomach. I had to peel the metal things off. It was... god. *shudder* I almost didn't want to write it down, it bothered me so much. I couldn't get back to sleep. I kept running my hands across my skin. I don't know why the dream happened. But I'm leaning towards Smallville last night. The episode contained a giant mob of bees. I can't stand them. Bees. That might have been why. God. I ended up reading
Bridlewood Manor. Fanfic that I was reading last night too. It's long and consuming. Took my mind of of the dream. And now my skin's crawling from writing about it again. Goddamit!! I hated it, so bad. God, I keep seeing the cuts. I can't stand it.
10:58 a.m.
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30.8.02
I've updated both Gutter Trash and ::::Crimson Ink::: The next part of 'Of Longing And Desire' is up, as well as my three new banners, and the 34 new ones in GT. The picture Lisa coloured is up as well. :P
On another note. My computer's fucked up again. It won't show me the source of web pages. I click it, but it doesn't work. I hate when this happens. It's a big bad for me.
On the plus side, Smallville's tonight. *grin* Mega yayness.
6:01 p.m.
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Woo! New member to Gutter Trash!! *grin*
4:56 p.m.
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I cleaned my room, finally. Yay! My desk is cleared and everything. It's so nice. Wonder how long I can keep it. ^_^;; I need a shower. Need to wash my hair. But I'm lazy. Maybe later. It's finally Friday, and that means Smallville. Yay! Except that I've already seen one of the eps tonight. Hopefully I haven't the second one. I wanna see the season finale, I didn't catch that one. I didn't see the SF of Alias either. Got to catch that too. I've been reading, but I'm not even half way through Temple Of The Winds, and I have a headache. It seems that sometimes, I can finish one of those books in a day, and other times, it takes three. Ah well. We'll see.
4:12 p.m.
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29.8.02
I finally finished Spoils Of War. At least, what's been written so far. And as far as I can tell, there's gonna be a lot still to come.
10:52 p.m.
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New wallpaper...
again. I like this one though, s'very cool. Noir seems like a really cool anime. I like it. Not to mention that the main characters are all hot anime women. I mean, I love shounen animes as much as the next fangirl, but I love shoujo ones too. That's me, closet Sailor Moon Fan. ^_^;;; Noir is about two assasins, one who has amnesia and can't remember her past, but knows her skills aren't normal [Kirika]; the other who's a contract assasin that always works alone, while searching for her own past [Mireille]. Sound neat eh? I like it. Mireille's really pretty. And I love her taste in clothes. *grin* Go lookit the desktop, so pretty. *grin*
7:48 p.m.
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Jesus. I
really need to clean my room. Or something. I keep meaning to do it, and then I never do. God. Ack. :P
5:32 p.m.
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I have six, count'em six new books from the library. Big yay! I finished one of them, which means I have 5 more to go. Again with the yay! Including, book 4 and 5 of The Sword Of Truth series. *grin* Hoping I'll finish em all before school starts too.
Ohh! Guestbook was signed!! Happiness. *grin* I think I number @ 30 something. With the grinning and the happy. I *still* need to finish Spoils Of War. So bad. I got through part 12, I have like, 4 more to read? Arg. Hop to it stupid.
5:02 p.m.
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28.8.02
For some reason, I can't download winamp 2 skins. It's all weird. *sniff* And winamp 3 is evil and ugly, so I'll just stick to my old winamp with my old skins.
6:51 p.m.
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Who are you? You wear the face of a friend, but your heart's a stranger and your soul's a memory.
6:50 p.m.
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Believe in the lies long enough, and they become the truth
Close your eyes, and fear not, for if they never open again, I will still love you
If I never wake from this endless sleep, will I remember what you mean to me?
Open yourself to the darkness
embrace the darkness, we can't reach the light
I love making these one liners up. Most of them end up being part of my MSN usnm. There are more, but most of them I've forgotten by now.
I signed Gutter Trash up for four more site directories, cause I haven't been getting any traffic. *sniff*
11:46 a.m.
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27.8.02
giftedfied. my new word of the day.
10:33 p.m.
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you've made a difference to my life
It's a song. It sounds good. I want to read the lyrics. I need to find a good lyrics engine. My old one's gone.
9:22 p.m.
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And I've joined the GWA contest mailing list. I had to go through so much work for it. All that stupid Yahoo! groups joining and stuff. :P
8:57 p.m.
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I now officially have cable internet. Yay!!
8:39 p.m.
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Damn. So far I have my core subjects with Katie,
Harmony, and Cooper. Also Devin I think. I'm not sure who else. I'll find out.
[edit]And Claire.
7:35 p.m.
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God. I can't lie, high school has me scared out of my wits. I'm alright when I'm with my friend, but when I'm at home, thinking about it, it just scares me, so bad. What can I do? Shit.
7:21 p.m.
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Soliloquy. Is that how you spell it? Well, anyways, I think I may put up a part in :::Crimson Ink::: just for that. Silent Soliloquys (ies?). Like this :
And when at last I looked upon her face, I wept, for when all was said and done, t'was her who loved me best.
Misery loves company. So do I.
What is this semblance of reality? Why do I stand here, my face to the sky, tears falling down my cheeks and mingling with the rain?
I run outside and into the rain, trying to leave my life behind me. The rain's cool against my skin. (I think this is part of Maybe, on CI)
And just to add on, Suicidal Tendancies sounds like a good story/website title. I have a list of titles.
11:51 a.m.
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(I'm not this superficial, really I'm not ^_^;;;)
11:44 a.m.
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What to wear... what to wear?
11:44 a.m.
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Registration today. Arg. And then I'm going shopping with Lisa and probably Jenn and Katie. I was up way to early today. That's what I get for going to sleep early. -_-;; I finished Blood Of The Fold though. It's good. But the end leaves so many loose threads. I need to read the next book. :P I need to finish Spoils Of War too. It's good.
10:34 a.m.
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26.8.02
I started reading Spoils of War. It actually is amazingly good. I like it a lot.
6:29 p.m.
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You see what I mean? God we have no life. She started it. It's so stupid. *sighs*
4:51 p.m.
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Started out clean but I'm jaded says:
You're laughing at me
That is not nice at all, fool
I will kill you now
Shinigami no Mitsukai ~ believe in the lies long enough, and they become the truth ~ says:
you can't kill me fool,
why, i am invincible!
you will only fail
Started out clean but I'm jaded says:
But I have mighty
Ways to do that. Like magic
Toilet plungers. Ha.
Shinigami no Mitsukai ~ believe in the lies long enough, and they become the truth ~ says:
that's rediculous
magic toilet plungers eh?
they can't defeat me!
Started out clean but I'm jaded says:
Now, phear my mad skillz
I'm the cool plunger master!
DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE!
Shinigami no Mitsukai ~ believe in the lies long enough, and they become the truth ~ says:
I cannot die yet
certainly not by your hand
you're a mere mortal
Started out clean but I'm jaded says:
Nuh uh! Am not! Thbbtp!
I'm more godly than you are
Now eat plunger, fiend!
Shinigami no Mitsukai ~ believe in the lies long enough, and they become the truth ~ says:
never! you're a fool.
that plunger will not touch me
i'm all powerful
Started out clean but I'm jaded says:
The plunger may not
But the crap from this toilet
Will smell bad in shoes
Started out clean but I'm jaded says:
Mwahahahaha
hahahahahahaha
hahahahaha!
Shinigami no Mitsukai ~ believe in the lies long enough, and they become the truth ~ says:
You mean in your shoes!
For you will never touch mine.
My shoes remain clean
Shinigami no Mitsukai ~ believe in the lies long enough, and they become the truth ~ says:
Mwahahahaha
hahahahahahaha
hahahahaha!
Started out clean but I'm jaded says:
I think not! My shoes
Started out clean but I'm jaded says:
er
Started out clean but I'm jaded says:
are much too cool for that, eh?
you didn't think that!
Shinigami no Mitsukai ~ believe in the lies long enough, and they become the truth ~ says:
You fool. You have failed.
Your haiku skills are dismal.
Bow to my haikus.
Started out clean but I'm jaded says:
I have mad haiku
Started out clean but I'm jaded says:
skillz! bow before me now, fool!
Started out clean but I'm jaded says:
you will not prevail
br>Shinigami no Mitsukai ~ believe in the lies long enough, and they become the truth ~ says:
I will never bow.
to the likes of your kind.
i am the master
Started out clean but I'm jaded says:
you will worship at
the altar of lisa soon
enough. you will see.
Shinigami no Mitsukai ~ believe in the lies long enough, and they become the truth ~ says:
i will not worship.
i will distroy the alter.
and then I shall laugh.
4:45 p.m.
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You know, Lisa coloured that one picture of mine. It's done really well. -_- As I was saying before. *sigh* This is why I stick to writing. The drawing part isn't my problem, the CGing? Yeah. I'll just stick to pencil and paper. And clothes. I like drawing clothes.
4:39 p.m.
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The fact that Lisa and I are having a conversation using haiku's is extremely sad.
4:31 p.m.
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High School. Arg. Registration's tommorow. *sigh* I'm sort of half dreading, half excited. It'll be weird, definately. *sigh* So many important decisions and shit. Courses. Arg. People say high school's great and stuff, but still. *sigh*
3:09 p.m.
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AHHH!!! Can't stand it anymore. The entire lack of Alias slash. Goddamnit. *glare glare* And Smallville slash isn't making me feel better either. I need to look through that someday other than today. That AB:VH series is done though. I kinda skimmed through the end. Whatever. I'm gonna go offline and read Blood Of The Fold for a bit, maybe.
2:17 a.m.
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it's too early in the day to think. all i can do is read at this hour
2:03 a.m.
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-_- Nothing. I've searched all of ffn. And the net. I have found 8 slash fics on Alias fandom. None of them are Will/Vaughn. Sadly, a lot of them are char/jack. *twitch* Now I'm depressed. I'm gonna go off and read anita blake. At least that will never dissapoint me. Or some Smallville stuff. *sigh* I want Alias slash. *glare, sigh*
1:53 a.m.
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Dammit!! Now I just want Will/Vaughn slash! Is that so much to ask?!
1:19 a.m.
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Rendevous. That's what today's ep was called.
12:57 a.m.
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See, in my mind, it would work like Lilias's complicated fic. It would go after the ep. I saw today. Will would join the CIA with Vaughn. They would both mull over their mutual love for Sydney. I'm thinking, one's of them's bi. To go with my scenerio, it would have to be Vaughn, but I'd see it in Will more. Will would turn to Vaughn, pining over Sydney, Vaughn would tell Will how great, and sexy, and so on and so forth he is, and they'd end up doing each other. And then, Sydney would finally get it in her head that she loves one of them, (whoever), and gets together with that person, probably Will, leaving Vaughn all alone again. Except he gets hurt in a mission and they both realise what they've done, and how the love him, and each other. See how nice that is? That's what I want. :P
12:56 a.m.
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*sigh* Goddammit. I've been looking, but there aren't even Will/Vaughn stories. I did read a funny Weiss/Vaughn story though. *smiles* *sighs* Arg. Why is there no good W/V(/S) fics? Why are there none, period?! Somebody must have my parings in mind!!!
12:52 a.m.
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25.8.02
Aw damn. It might be an OC/V/W love triangle. Grr. Die.
11:34 p.m.
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Ooh ooh!! I found a story that says love triangle, and not only are they all in it, I bet that the love triangle's them. But... hope against hope there's Will/Vaughn action.
11:32 p.m.
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Ack. He wasn't much help. :P Now I know Will didn't die, but I don't know what ATY is still. I haven't found any S/V/W stuff either. Maybe it's too much to ask. :P
11:31 p.m.
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What the hell is ATY?! I'm thinking it's the finale, but seeing as I haven't seen it, I'm so confused. I think that Vaughn *dies* in it. Ahh!! Yes!! Matthew's online. Must ask him.
11:23 p.m.
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Ooh. Michael Vaughn. I get it. I thought it was Vaughn like Van from Escaflowne. :P My bad.
11:16 p.m.
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Vaughn. That's what his name is. Neat spelling.
11:11 p.m.
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I just watched Alias today, the ep. where Will gets shot. I think it might be the last one, I don't remember though. :P I suddenly realised, I want to read some Will/Sydney/Agent guy whose name I don't remember but he's hot slash. *grin* Or... threesome stuff, whatever. Gonna go looked @ ffn.
11:09 p.m.
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Arg. Hungry.
1:10 p.m.
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I'm gonna go see Serving Sara today. I don't know how good it'll be, but I haven't seen a movie with friends in a while. I think Tiffany thinks I hate her or something. :\ Arg. I finished OB, and started Blood Of The Fold. Back to AB:VH though, Edward is so cool! *grin* Not sleeping tonight. At least, probably not. I want to read 'Spoils Of War' by Mikkeneko. I've heard it's really good, in the same breath that Lasha Lee was complemented. Now I want to read it.
12:29 p.m.
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24.8.02
I'm home 'lone now. Kinda glad for it. My parents are out with my little brother @ the CNE. I didn't want to go. Cause I felt kind of sick yesterday. Yeah, I shoulda told my parents, especially because I just got my chicken pox shot, but I figure I can handle it. I'm probably gonna end up not doing the buttons for GWA. Too many of them. :P Me, procatinator? Yeah. I can't even spell it. I have a new desktop up too. You can go check it out.
I finished CotW. Oh my god! The ending!! It was so... so sweet, sad, but sweet. *sniff* It was so nice. Dammit. I was over @ Jenn and Katie's yestday. It was fun. Mostly. :P I don't know. Whatever.
2:17 p.m.
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22.8.02
I realised I should probably give credit to the gallery where I found this DN Angel image. It's called
Neutral. It has very nice images.
9:07 p.m.
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I might try making buttons for the desktop part of the GWA contest. It's meant as a contest to make buttons for the board. Except that I don't really like the buttons I've made so far. :P
9:00 p.m.
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I ended up lasting for 36 hours. Then I slept for 13. Wow. I'm such a freak. I put up Crimson Ink, 'Loved', the poem from the wallpaper (which I've edited), second part to OLAD, and two pictures. Woo! Someone's productive. Speaking of the wallpaper, I've also submitted it to GWA's fanart contest. It runs alongside with the angst fic contest, and it includes fanart, wallpaper, banners, and desktop stuff. Yay. I really like how the wallpaper turned out. I changed the font cause Mistral was harder to read than Staccato. I thought about using Staccato before, but I figured, I use it on my site so much, I don't want to use it here. But Mistral is hard to read. You don't get it from me because I wrote the poem. But other people will have a hard time reading it. Damn. I just realised I should probably put an alternate url to that post, just in case people can't see it. Although I doubt it. Tripod.uk is good about that. *smiles* Direct linking at its best.
I'm almost finished Blue Moon. I got Blood of the Fold today too. It's part of the Sword Of Truth series. Yay. I want to listen to Savage Garden. There. It's now on Winamp. Although I'll have to go through all that OLP first. Right. I borrowed OLP off Lisa. I was going to return it yesterday, but I brought the case, and forgot the cd in my stereo. :P Yeah, someone's smart. I also have Hero, Chad Kroeger, or however it's spelt. :\
I'm getting my chicken pox shot tomorrow. I'm goin over to Jenn and Katie's tommorow too. Swimming. Fun. Unless the weather is crap. My head hurts. To much concentrating. On reading. On typing. Whatever. I still haven't finished CotW. Arg. Whatever.
6:28 p.m.
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21.8.02
I was over @ Catherine's for a sleepover. I didn't sleep. Somehow, Iris convinced me and Yvonne to do an all-nighter. She was like, aww, common guys, it's two more hours til we get up anyways and stuff. Ah well. I was up til 2.30 reading Corner Of The World on Monday night/Tuesday morning. I woke up @ 10.30. It's now almost 3.30. I haven't slept for... 29 hours. Wow. Except for like, a five minute nap before we woke up again @ 7 @ Cat's and another short, like, 10 minute nap at home. I'm tired, but I want to see how long I last. Me, masochist? Naw. Sadist? Probably.
I finished Pillars Of The World. It wasn't as good as I thought it would be. :P Ah well. I'm reading Burnt Offerings now. Almost finished, but it's hard to read, hard to concentrate well. Tiring.
The new layout for Crimson Ink is all ready, I just need to put it up. *grin* And I have two new pictures, as well as, I finished that story with Sara and Tomas. I've named it 'Loved'. I just picked it a few min. ago. I was gonna leave it untitled, but I already have another untitled story. Sara doesn't end up with Tomas. I couldn't write a good ending where she would. :P It's not a good story. I don't like it. It moves fast, doesn't develop enough, and isn't written well. But I haven't put anything up in months. I'm putting the next part of OLAD up though. Yay. *tired*
I still haven't finished CotW. I'm on part 21. There's not a very big plot to it. Just like, sex, and small subplots that never seem to be concluded. :P Ah well. I've got to upload Crimson Ink stuff.
Ooh! I forgot. Lil Boof on GWA drew this beautiful Duo and Heero picture, and I made it into a wallpaper, adding a poem to it:
Lost in the darkness
We can't find the light
The monsters are real
And there's no place to hide
But close your eyes
I'll hold you tight
And make a promise to the stars
That you'll be alright
I like it. It goes with the wallpaper.
Here's the wallpaper.
3:33 p.m.
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19.8.02
Still reading Corner of The World. :) I'm on part 16 right now. It's good. I was over @ Jason's yesterday, for his birthday party. A ton of people were there. Although, I didn't really have a blast. I'm such a freak. I get ticked off by the smallest things. I'm too sensitive. Stupid things. Everything people do... I don't know. Too perfectionistic. Like, stupid stuff, like how Iris and Yvonne went shopping together. I talked about it, but I made a joke of it. You know, whatever. But I feel like my closest friends are being pulled apart. Catherine once said that of me, that she didn't like me because she thought I would do that. She doesn't have to worry; I don't have that sort of power. They do. All of them. Friends hurt. Maybe it would be easier if I distanced myself from people. Right now, the only person I'm confortable with is Lisa, and that's a problem. Because it'll hurt, if she pulls away. I don't want that kind of hurt right now. I makes me feel so stupid, so freakish. I hold myself apart. I'm always doing something wrong. And I can't change it. And I hate it. God. I wish, a thousand times, that I could just turn back time, change things. So they work the way they should. But they don't. Goddammit. So I submerge myself. In my novels, my reading, my music. My fantasys. My precious illusions. That's a song. It's a good one. I can relate. My precious illusions keep me safe, but they let me down. They always let me down. I can't be who I am in my illusions, it's all a lie. I could just type, and type and type it all away, but it wouldn't go. Stop. I need to stop.
1:47 p.m.
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18.8.02
Corner Of The World's a good fanfic. Smallville.
1:45 a.m.
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17.8.02
ARG. I still haven't gotten KD from the library. Damn them. Arg. There's another person on hold for the novel. I should just start the others and ignore KD for now. *glare* Not happy. There's nothing good on TV. *sigh* I'm gonna go read more Lex/Clark slash.
8:18 p.m.
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16.8.02
I'm watchin Smallville. Lex Luther is so cool. I like him a lot in this episode. It's the one where Jodi keeps eating and eating. She just ran away from Pete, because she doesn't want to eat him O.o Lex is so cool. They're so much chemistry between him and Clark. Must find Lex/Clark slash. *grin*
I just finished reading
Solace, it's linked above and here. It's a really amazing GW fic. It has all sorts of pairings, but it's really written well. The pairings might turn you off at first, but it's really really poetic, really beautiful. It's well worth the read.
8:42 p.m.
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Arg. I can't get the mouse-over to work! *glare* stupid code. A lot of codes at Lissa Explains don't work *glare* must find, other code...
7:54 p.m.
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New desktop again. Because I'm in a better mood today.
Check
this out. New layout to Crimson Ink. Planning on using roll-over images for the links. I like this one a lot. It's going to be staying for a while. Because it's nicely done, easy, simple. I made it today. Somewhat inspired by that Lady Foot Locker/Nike commercial.
I drew a new drawing today. Based on me. I was waiting for my mom, in a changeroom, and I was just sitting there, staring at the mirror. I liked the pose, so I drew it. I'll scan it in and show it here later.
take these broken wings / and learn to fly away Savage Garden, Gunning Down Romance. It's cool.
6:44 p.m.
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15.8.02
God. I just read the NC-17 version of Sociopaths and Serial Killers. God. Anita and Edward. What can I say, it was good. *smirk* It was really quite good. *sigh* It's more, well, more than Pandora's Box. *smile*
9:41 p.m.
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I just read this sad, angsty Trowa fic, written for the GWA angst contest. It was sad. *sniff* But good.
8:56 p.m.
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"Who are you?!" Tomas asked, frustration and anger lacing his voice.
"Tomas..." I touched a hand to his arm. He jerked away. I flinched with a little gasp, like I had been slapped. "I can't tell you," I whispered, blinking back tears. He turned away from me.
"I loved you, didn't I?"
I stared at his back, miserably. I nodded once, knowing he couldn't see me. 'You loved me... you're right. And I loved you. Do love you. Will always... love you.'
This is part of that story. A new part, that I like.
8:01 p.m.
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327. That's my number @ i.am.poetry. stupid bravenet isn't working, so i have to change my info later
7:18 p.m.
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< !--------- Begin Freedback.com Form --------- >
< !-- Generated by Freedback.com -- >
< !-- on Tue Dec 11 2001 at 11:12:35am -- >
< !-- WORG Form Builder v0.2.1 -- >
< FORM METHOD="POST" ACTION="http://cgi50.Freedback.com/mail.pl" target="newwindow" >
haha! I figured out how to make the form target a new window! Rather, I found a site that does it and stole it ^_^;;;
7:08 p.m.
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I went shopping again. Got a shirt and a sweater to match my new pants. Hero's playing on MMM. Good song.
5:25 p.m.
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I finished The Stone Of Tears yesterday. It wasn't that good. It's blurry, a lot of things aren't given enough development. Which isn't good. And a lot of things are glossed over, probably to make the book shorter. But I think that ruins things. Like with Kahlan's death. And the actual Stone Of Tears, and how it worked. And Chase and Rachel. Yeah.
I'm thinking of a new layout, I don't know what for you. Squares. I'm thinking white on black. With a single red one. Ah, Crimson Ink layout. Cool. *grin*
I'm still waiting for The Killing Dance. I have Blue Moon and Obsidian Butterfly from the library, but I haven't gotten KD yet. :P
I'm going shopping again. ^_^;;
10:21 a.m.
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14.8.02
God, I'm so freaking pissed off at my little brother. I don't even know how to explain it. Jesus. Dammit all. I went shopping though, plus for me. I got a shirt at Le Chateau. And I've continued typing up that story. Even though it's stupid, and needs to be massively developed. I'm not giving up yet. I have a new desktop, to match my mood. I've been downloading a lot of anime wallpapers. It's nice, to suit them to my mood.
8:45 p.m.
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13.8.02
Ok. I give up. I haven't drawn in forever, and CG'd in longer. I just went to Tangerine and Lisa had a new picture up. And it beats the fucking crap out of all of mine. I have
no artistic talent. I don't even have the pull anymore. I haven't even typed up that lame-ass story I wrote down. 'Of Longing And Desire''s on standstill. I have no talent. Jesus. I'm a failure. God, sometimes I wish I could hate Lisa, because she's better. Sometimes I do. And I couldn't care shit that it's not fair. Life's not fair. I give up.
6:23 p.m.
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Ah. We're working now. Turns out that I can change the password to my FTP, it just takes a while to take effect. So, it's all good. I went shopping today, and yesterday. I bought a pair of sneakers yesterday, and a pair of jeans today. The jeans were 15 bucks. ^_^ Ah, the scrounger of cheap, yet stylish items. *grin* They were from Costa Blanca, they're Urban Behaviour jeans basically. I also saw this sweater at UB that would have matched the jeans, but they were 25. :P Ah well. The jeans are really long. Hafta wear boots. :P I'm glad to have this working again.
6:05 p.m.
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11.8.02
Something's all weird. My posts aren't posting. Mother fuck.
5:42 p.m.
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I think that I absolutely love the song 'Two Beds And A Coffee Machine' by Savage Garden. With 'Gunning Down Romance' as second. *sigh* S'very good. I'm currently watching Buffy. It's that ep. where she sleeps with Parker. :S My dad's coming back from Seatle/Vancouver today. I have nothing to say -_- Ah, this is a bad ep. Everyone's having sex, and it's not good. Buffy's gonna be hurting again. And Spike's sleeping with *twitch* Harmony. Details, I mean, not, details, like, I don't need a diagram, but maybe, a blurry watercolour?! Hahah. Willow to Buff, bout Parker ^_^;;. A place, which has witnessed some truly spectacular kickings, of my ass! Spike, about Sunnydale. Heheh.
5:39 p.m.
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10.8.02
this is a test
8:33 p.m.
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I just found out Lisa has my FTP info on her FTP program. Not happy. Should've deleted it. I forgot. -_-;; Someone's smart. And I can't figure out how to change it, idiot that I am. I tried changing my tripod password, but apparently that didn't work. Arg. Not happy. Not happy at all. About as happy about this as I am about hackers. And I am
not a fan of hackers. Big not-fan. Arg.
It's almost 8.30. Healing Hands is on. I like that show. S'cool. I've posted, like, four times today. I'm semi-bored. I don't like that word. Semi. It was used too much in a fanfic. I was not happy. Arg.
This is the good Anita/Edward fanfic that I found. I think it's good. I dunno.
Everybody's goin to Laser Quest monday. Excluding me. Not cause I wasn't invited. No. I'd be ranting if I weren't. Just cause I don't want to go. At least, I didn't want to go. I'm so undecisive. Dammit all to hell.
I feel the need to put in one of those, what I'm doing/wearing/hearing/ etc pages. LoL. That'd be cool. I'll work on something. Maybe.
8:31 p.m.
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Gutter Trash has been accepted into 5 of the
12 site listings I sent it to yesterday. Yeah, I know. But Gutter Trash has been slow these days, so I figured, if I signed up to more site listings, I'd get more ppls. I have like, 20 something members so far. I'm listed/hopefully listed in 34 site directories. It's so sad. I've never seen a site with so many. Site directories are like... I don't know, I drug. *twitch* Ah well.
6:51 p.m.
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I've just started a GW fanfic called Shinigami's Song. It seems really, really good. It's supposedly a pretty old fanfic. You know, up there with Talya Firedancer and The Death Arc. Man, those were old, but good. Most of those writers are gone, not writing anymore. At least not GW. *cries* I loved Talya Firedancer. She was an amazing writer. I read Fly Boys, and it was the first of hers I had read. I think it was the first *ever* fanfic I had read. She doesn't write GW anymore, and I wish she did. Ah well. She was an amazing writer. I looked around for the longest time for her own site. She's archived @ GWA now, even though she doesn't write anymore. GWA has an entire host of amazing writers. I'm glad. It's someplace I can always go for a Gundam Wing fix.
6:37 p.m.
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Back to school shopping's fun. I was reading the Saturday Star and it had an article about shopping guilt. Yeah, that's me all over. *sigh* I can't help it. It's more the buying I feel guilty about. Yeah. *sigh* I read a pretty good Anita/Edward fic yesterday, and then some not so good ones. The one good one I read wasn't finished. I don't know if that's good or bad -_-;;; I'm going to go back to it, hope against hope that they're more.
5:57 p.m.
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9.8.02
Aahh!! Jesus! The next Anita Blake novel doesn't come out until *Febuary*!! That's like, 6 freaking months!! It was supposed to come out in September, but something or other changed that. Arg. And to top it off, it's so pathetically hard to find good Anita/Edward fanfiction. Being in GW fandom, I made the mistake of thinking all other fandoms were as large and wellspread. It's not true. Possibly because my parings aren't the norm. They're nothing like GWA in Gravitation, Weiss Kreuz, or Anita Blake. It's so depressing. For now I'll just continue reading the 'In Death' series (JD Robb) even though it's not as good. I'm waiting for The Killing Dance from the library. Once I read that, i can go on to Burnt Offerings. Edward's in KD. Yay. ^_^;;
I've now turned Tiffany down twice for movie plans. It's not that I don't like her, I do, and really, I don't want to see the movie. But I feel so bad. She's so pushy about it, I end up lying to her. It's bad enough when I turn down my close friends, jeez. It pisses me off sometimes. I mean, if I don't want to see the movie, why are they pushing me? I can't honestly be that great company. In fact, half the time I'm being a depressive bitch who doesn't want anyone around. Yes, that's me.
But anyways, I've begun back-to-school shopping. Wee. Actually, I like to shop. Make that, love to shop. I once spent 6 hours with Iris at the mall. We had planned the six hours, I think so that we might catch a movie. We didn't, and ended up walking around the outside of the mall for kicks. Yeah. That was pretty sad. I need a new wallet. I saw one at Ardene's that wasn't too bad, but I'm gonna wait til next week. Cause next week my little brother's at camp (thank god) and my mom and I get to shop.
I just found out that the line in my username
I want nothing more than to sit outside heaven's door, and listen to you breathing is from Breathing, by Lifehouse. I suspected it was a song, but now I know. *smile* It's from Heartless Writer, the Yuki Eiri fansite.
Goddammit! I want Anita/Edward fanfics. *sniff* There was this one site, where the was a fanfic called 'Death's Apprentice'. It was good, fanfic-wise, story-wise, but Anita/Edward wise? No good. And most of them are stupid and sappy. Arg. Half of them follow the same plot line, Anita's tired of the boys, breaks up with both of them, quits on Bert, Edward comes running, Olaf's back, she goes off with him, they end up in each other's arms. -_-;; What can I say? Jeez. I wish GW authors wrote Anita Blake fanfics. That way, I *know* they're good authors. *sigh* Ah well. Whatever. I'll get my AB:VH fixes where I can.
2:27 p.m.
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6.8.02
Why is it that children are told to keep all limbs inside a moving vehicle, and yet you have dogs hanging their entire upper body out a car window? I mean, it's just as likely for *their* limbs to be hit by oncoming traffic. Keep your windows closed for god's sake. And the whole dog in a convertable. Ok, what is with that? It isn't cool people. I keep waiting to see a dog jump out. Yeah, that would be funny, right up to the moment when they get hit by a speeding mini-bus. -_- Sardonic, me? Naw.
If it seems like I'm writing a little differently, it's because I've just read two Anita Blake novels. Those books always influence the way I write. Especially if I'm in first person. You know, all that crap in those books about there being nothing sexual between her and Edward? Bullshit. I actually wish there was. Edward is wicked cool. I'm gonna go over to *gasp* fanfiction.net and see if they've got any Anita/Edward stories. Hey, who says I don't read het fanfiction? Although, I'm entertaining the thought of Edward and Jean-Claude together. ;) Ah, that would be great. But my favourite characters would have to be the bit ones. Nathaniel. Jason. Between the two of them, with the kitty-cat's looks and the wolf's personality, I've got Duo Maxwell, gundam pilot extrodinaire, just screaming at me. Don'tcha think? I mean, when I first read about Nathaniel, I was just like, Duo. Duo. I mean, he hasn't got the personality, but that's where Jason comes in. *grin* I love the series. It's great. But there hasn't been a new one out in too long. *sigh* Ah well. Wait, you know what? I have read all three of them. I've confused myself. I just finished Circus Of The Damned. I want to read more Edward. Did I mention I like him? He's been in the first three books. I didn't know he was so popular. I want to read 'The Lunatic Cafe'. It's the only one I haven't read. I'm hoping fervently Edward's in it. *hope hope hope* I'm as of yet unwilling to go online and buy it. I mean, here I am, cheap as hell. I'm not going to make my parents spring for that one book. I'll just wait. Wait and hope.
8:26 p.m.
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5.8.02
Back from Montreal!! It was great. Lotsa fun. The car ride there was dull though. The first day, we spent just shopping in the underground. I picked up
three Anita Blake novels. ^_^;;; Oh well, it was my birthday, and I haven't been able to find them anywhere else anyways. The Indigo there had almost all of them. The only one I don't own/haven't read now is The Lunatic Cafe. Anyone care to type it up and send it to me? ^_^;; Second day we walked Old Montreal. It's nice. We didn't do much shopping though. We mostly walked along the port. I had a blast. And last night we went to a friend of my dad's wedding. She works for my dad actually, so lotsa company friends. There's this one guy, that I think is bi. But maybe it's just me. And maybe he's just really open. Cause he's kissed all of the grooms at weddings. ^_^ He's also married. *shrug* Whatever. Company barbeque today. Fun.
I started a new story today. I know, I know. But last night I had a dream, and it was an entire story. I don't get that much. So I woke up at like, 8.30 and wrote it all down. I just have to expand and stuff. Elijah Wood's doing the voice of Tom Thumb in the new video/dvd of 'The Adventures of Tom Thumb and Thumbilina' or something like that. Cute. I think Jennifer Love Hewitt's Thumbilina. *grin*
I've put up the new Gutter Trash layout. I now have the entire Savage Garden, Affermation track on my harddrive. The one song, Affermation, there's a line in it.
I believe you can't apprieciate real love til you've been burned I think I'm going to use for a sequel to 'Of Longing And Desire'. If I ever finish it. It'll be about Seriah. Well, anyways, we'll see.
5:18 p.m.
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1.8.02
Hey. My birthday tomorrow. *grin* Lisa has the most terrifying 'lijah picture on her
website. *twitch* I'm off to Montreal tonight. It's gonna be great, except for the fact that my period might be starting sometime this weekend. -_-;;;;; *sigh* Ah well. I made 16 new banners for GT, but they're all so big. They looked small when I made them, but... now they don't. -_-;; I might remake them. You know, whatever.
1:39 p.m.
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