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31.7.02

Ok, first of all, I found my lost post. Somehow, it wasn't really a new post, but just my very first post being edited. I haven't a clue why. Here it is.

I'm off to Montreal tomorrow, back on Saturday. Wee!! Fun. Even though my french is abismal. I finished Wizard's First Rule. Great book. Waiting for the next one from the library. It's Lisa's birthday today. It's mine on the 2nd. Oh, I figured out how to absolute position my images. Finally. It makes it so much easier for me to create image maps when I have absolute positioning. I posted the first part of 'Of Longing And Desire' on :::Crimson Ink::: It's short. I have this stupid batman bandage on my knee because we're out of regular ones -_-;; *sigh*

I'm talking to my dad. I'm looking up stuff about Montreal and stuff. Seems neat. It has an Old Montreal, just like Quebec City. I liked Quebec City. I also found out that the weekend we're going there is the weekend they're holding Divers/Cite (I think that's what it's called), a gay pride festival. Yay! for me, I don't know how my parents will react -_-;;;; Montreal is one of the most gay prided, open cities in Canada, I think. The show, Out In The City, on Life Network, talks about gays and lesbians living in Montreal. It's a good show. I was watching it yesterday. The couple, Damian and his boyfriend are interesting.

I have the a new layout for Gutter Trash done, featuring Rei Ayanami. I also have another planned, of Elijah Wood.


Secondly, I figured that if I wanted the date on every post, I would have to post it myself. And I'm too lazy to do that. So, screw it for now.

3:51 p.m. // this is my reality \\

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Arg. I just realised that if you post twice (or more) in one day, only the lastest post shows the date. I'm going to attempt to change that. I don't like it. *glare*

3:44 p.m. // this is my reality \\

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*glare* I don't have a clue what happened.


Anyways, I put up the first part to 'Of Longing And Desire'. I finished a new layout to Gutter Trash, featuring Rei Ayanami. I'm planning another one, featuring Elijah Wood.


I'm going to Montreal tommorow, returning on Saturday. In my other post, I talked about how Montreal was incredibly open minded, and one of the most gay communities in Canada. And about the show Out In The City, but I'm tired of having to repeat myself. Maybe later. >:(


I finished Wizard's First Rule, it's good. Waiting for next one. *sigh* I don't feel like blogging anymore. So frustrated.

3:38 p.m. // this is my reality \\

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Mother fuck! I just lost my entire last post!!! What the hell!!!

3:35 p.m. // this is my reality \\

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30.7.02

AAAHHH!! Jesus. I want cable. My computer's too slow on download. I know I shouldn't be so selfish, I've already got the best computer in the house, but oh, I want cable so bad. I want to be able to download mp3s in faster than 20 minutes!!! Jesus. I have Sleepless Beauty and Super Drive from Gravitation on my harddrive, but I'll download the others later. At night. It takes too long dammit. *sigh*

3:18 p.m. // this is my reality \\

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I think I love this site. heartless writer And I *know* I love Yuki. *sighs* There's nothing wrong with loving an anime character. Or several. And reading countless fanfics about them.


*cries* I want the Gravitation DVD's!!!! I want them I want them I want them!!! (Stupid Sean) I need a Gravi fix. I want to see Weiss Kreuz too. I can't wait til I'm older, and have a proper job. And live away from home. Where my parents can't look at me strangely for my obsession which they know nothing about. -_-;; So depressed. I want subtitled anime DVD's!!!!! *cries again* This sucks. *glare*

2:11 p.m. // this is my reality \\

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29.7.02

God it hurts. Stupid retainers, they're pinching the skin on the inside of my cheek, and it hurts, oh, it hurts. Goddammit. I can't wait til I get them off. Constant music is good. I like winamp. It has pretty skins.

5:03 p.m. // this is my reality \\

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Whoa. The 'Blog This' is cool.

3:52 p.m. // this is my reality \\

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Aahh. *twitch* Stupid archive files. Well, at least I got all this work done today. Archive files, new layout for Crimson Ink. It's all good. Sort of. I left my watch at Lisa's. Pissed off about it. I'm so out of shape. *sigh* It's sad. Maybe I should ask Lisa if she wants to blog here. It can be our crap board. Except that I don't really want people reading this. People that I know that is. I mean, what's the use of writing down rants if the people whom they're about can read it. Lisa knows the url to this. Though hopefully she won't come read it. Not that they're shit here about her. I'm not trying to be a mean person here. It's just, sometimes I need to let out. I do have another diary. It's on my harddrive. But that one's full of everything. From what I bought at the mall yesterday to what I want to do with my life, to sketches and stories. [cept that this'll end up with story snippets as well] I want someplace where it's more just emotion. So here we are.


The story I have down there is called 'Of Longing And Desire' by the way. I'll probably end up putting a part or two on Crimson Ink, to placade my friends. I still haven't read that arc of Lasha's. I don't even remember what it's called. I think she named it, but I don't remember. There's so much crap here. Arg. Whatever.

3:49 p.m. // this is my reality \\

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28.7.02

I can't get Gravity [OLP] out of my head. But it's a good song, so whatever.

11:20 p.m. // this is my reality \\

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I just can't stand it. Jon Lam. God, I hate his guts so bad sometimes. It's not enough that he annoys me just being him, but him and Iris. I can't stand to watch it. It's so depressing. Maybe it's selfish, but why can't I have that? I would never have believed Iris *and* Yvonne would get farther than me, as vain as that is. But watching the both of them, god it pisses me off. I don't mind so much Yvonne, but then, I have to watch Jon at things like Claire's, where he's flirting with every female thing in the room. God, I can't stand it. And yet, I still can't have anything. Anything at all. I hate this sometimes. I have my imaginary world, the place where I can escape. And I have my books. But I can't have reality.


I need to change the layout to my site, Crimson Ink. The layout takes too long for computers to load. I'll change it to the simpler one. I'm actually really happy with the layout of this blog. I love that graphic. Daisuke and Dark, from DN Angel. I only wish I could have used the other one. It was pretty. Just Dark. Dark reminds me of Ripper. If you ever see Dark with red hair, that's how I imagined Ripper to look like. I want to read 'And I Have Touched The Sky' again. And the rest of the arc. Maybe I'll do it tonight. I still need to figure out archives and stuff. But I'll figure that shit out some other time.


I'm such a failure sometimes. I can't figure anything out. God. I need to write. I started this one story, but I doubt it'll be finished. Crap it all.


"Ceres?" she called softly. There was no answer. 'Where are you? I need you.' But he was no where to be found. And Seriah was hurt. She felt like she had been abandoned. The one time she wanted him, really needed him, and he wasn't there. It hurt. "Ceres," she murmured, before walking away.


"Ceres," he heard her whisper as she walked away. He didn't want to see her, not yet, not now. He could tell she was hurt, but he wanted to be alone. The boy would have understood. But he wasn't here. Ceres wished he was. He missed their companionship.


Just a snippet that I just wrote.


I'm reading 'Wizard's First Rule' by Terry Goodkind right now. It's pretty good. I think of all people, Lisa's one that really understands me. Iris too, except that there are too many things I can't talk to her about. Like my obsession with GW yaoi. Lisa gets that. And it makes me slightly more comfortable, knowing I have her, at least. I mean, I've got the message board, but it's not like I can post shit there. Whatever. I'm gonna go read now. Or something.

10:52 p.m. // this is my reality \\

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